Purging all of my feelings out right now, before I explode into flames of “omg, omg” at the next person
I am so jittery when I am nervous
How do I hide all of this anxiety inside me

So the first strike’s unleashed itself – already?! I think – but I am also hoping this means the rest is gonna be okay, as with last summer. The first, and then peace. Gonna calm down now, gonna calm down now

You can never be fully mentally prepared for things
I like to picture situations and place myself in them; me under the most dangerous circumstances, the most silly, the most unexpected, to somehow prepare myself for them. Brace myself mentally, so when that happens, it will not strike me with a huge blow; it will be softer, perhaps, cushioned by previous ‘what if’ bubble.
Clearly it doesn’t work this way. The thing is, you can picture the situation a hundred times, guess the hundred ways it happens, the thousand ways you’d feel, but you can never be prepared enough. It doesn’t help, this, mental preparation so to speak. It does nothing to ease the emotions that surge through your veins when pictured situation unveils.


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