I have so much to say, I would like to metaphorically slit my wrists so I can bleed over my keyboard
Unfortunately my laptop has died (hopefully temporary, I don’t know what’s wrong) so I will bleed over my phone
Spill, spilling, spill
I have fallen in love with solo travel. I really have. I find myself thinking this again and again each time I roam around alone. I have the strangest encounters and have the most enlightening conversations and the queerest observations and bump into the most interesting people. It’s crazy, I don’t know how it works but it works almost every time like some sort of magic that draws me to people who light up another lightbulb in my head and expand my view of the world a little further.
Currently in Slovakia. What I’ve learnt today – New Yorkers – Haruka and William, lawyer- (blocked out) Times Square and its (overnight) queue, illegal guns in major cities (inclu LA, ny, Washington, …),
Italy -common to fly to bratislava and bus to Vienna, north-south reinforcement
Slovak – Slovak language, the drink, Name Day!!!!!! Slovak political system..? Education is free, low wages of 2 per hour really?? Car 1k euro only. Slovakia edu system is so crazy stressful – gosh I thought ours was bad. But really?? Occasional tests throughout the year picked randomly, having to study everyday – everything too!! Exams picking a topic and preparing for 15 minutes to talk for 45 minutes about it – that is soooo crazy. Answer graded 1-5 and cumulative and averaged for the 2 semesters. Class participation, vocalization, opinions. Moving away.
Moving and moving and moving until you find a place and know “this is the place I know I want to be” – not being able to settle down because you know you have bigger plans in the future for yourself, as with Dave. That compromise. But knowing, and knowing you have that end in mind and that whatever comes in between now.. Might not work out, because of that end. The future, such an endless blur. And yet, so unsettled, but so determined to go. And they can go. And they will go.
Relationships, ‘meeting’, rules. Tricky. Love is universal, things are universal. Across cultures. What is this feeling that you have, and is it real? This feeling that you think you know this is the person for you, but under circumstances it cannot happen. And yet you supposedly know and feel like you’ve known the person for years and past lives. Is that real or is that in your head? Think david’s ‘eternal butterflies’ thing. dave ‘i would drop everything and leave’. what does it mean to be in love with someone, what is this emotion that they have. I want to be skeptical and say they’re sucked in by the media but what if it’s true, it’s real? What if it’s real, and what if it happens 20 years later when it hits you just as you thought you were happy?
Aloneness. Age. Bigger plans. Future. Homes.
Surfing with Dave was actually so comfortable and I’ve never been so open about what we talked about and it feels so awesome to be able to talk to someone like that, no judgements and just.. Honesty. Openness. And nothing attached thereafter. I liked that alot. I need people like that man, to just swap general perspectives and advices and to LET ME SEE AND BE ASSURED THAT THE WORLD IS SO HUGE AND THE FUTURE IS ONE HUGE BLANK CANVAS OF OPPORTUNITIES AND POSSIBILITIES AND UNEXPECTEDNESS AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT AMAZING. And hope, and blessings of the future. The night was of Christmas songs, me laughing alot in a strangely comfortable old-friend manner and spotting ladyboys and hot chicks.
My head is just overflowing with thoughts and I am afraid that I cannot squeeze out every single drop of it because I want to, I very much want to because it’s only been 3 days and I feel like I’ve gained so much. I love this feeling very, very much – I feel fulfilled and thoughtful like I have learnt, and I have so much more to learn.