Today marks the last of my teaching days and I must say it’s been a really good day in many ways

We gave out the prizes – most hardworking, most creative, most attentive… everyone gets an award, everyone deserves one. It’s important to recognize their virtues from young, so they internalize these attributes and grow up believing more in themselves. (during reflection, i felt like this was one of the most important parts of everything) I think back to my younger self and I think these recognitions and titles stay with you, they do. They make you believe them. Sigh, these pesky kids are so adorable in their own ways. I also have a wonderful team of dedicated members and I feel so thankful for them ❤ Days like these I just feel like I'm living, because everyday I'm doing so much more than I would in Singapore, back in my routined little bubble.

I received hand-made, decorated notes. She tucked the note in my hand. In these moments I am reminded once again of how the precious things in life aren’t always purchaseable. How communication transcends language. How people make you feel, and how feeling makes me feel human and alive. 

my lovely dedicated teaching team – the brainstorming, reinventing, adaptations, customizations etc.

wah fierce sia

love how they sit by me and braid my hair

Having done both tourism modules – level 2000 and level 4000 – and critiquing voluntourism for all of my papers, I still went ahead with my decision to join the project. Ah, that final question of GE4218.

I think back to what Teacher said in brt, and I think about our operations. I believe that these modules have shaped my decisions and operations in many positive ways, my mentality, our gestures – i would like to think that i have thought carefully about how we can operate in ways to minimize emotional / other damages. I think in some ways we have. Is it not better to have these projects than to have none at all?

We talked about this, caught uneasily in a web of ethical complexities. Will I join another ocip? I don’t know… I keep thinking and thinking and I really don’t. I would love to have this discussion sometime again (with no judgements, no imposition of opinions) because truly, I feel, there are no easy answers, and each case is contextualised. 

After that we went to the mall, bought an f21 top for 3sgd. I don’t really want to buy things anymore though, buying clothes and random stuff doesn’t excite me. The material goods flooding sis’s room is getting increasingly nauseating, all these seemingly interesting and useful things piling up and just… Being nothing. We really need to get rid of these things. I feel like I am almost drowning. It’s a strange feeling but we just sit there as the pile continues to grow. 

In the evening half of our team met the translators for local food. I got the privilege to hop on Ahn’s motorbike and we rode off in the cool night. Wind in hair, we weaved in and out along the traffic of Vietnam – I’ve always wanted to do that in the SEA traffic. She beeped, and placed my hand to the honk. I beeped twice. We laughed. 

I wonder if my self in the previous 2 years would have been otherwise. Because I like the way I am now, I like the way I am today, talking to them and asking about them because I do want to, and I feel like I did something right today. 

The trip’s coming to an end for the team, and for me it’s about to briefly begin. Ashley won’t be going to Hue, he’s heading to Laos and I am both nervous and happy- I can’t wait to feel again, and to learn, and to think, and to be on my own. After 2 weeks I do need some me-time, really. Although my thesis bugs me at times, I know I wouldn’t choose otherwise. I love these experiences and these are what will be important and what will stay with me in the years to come. This year I challenge myself to care less about That, to let go for a bit and to Be. I am afraid that it is an excuse, but I also think it is essential that I do not compromise other experiences for my growth. I guess what’s most important is that I do my best – and do my best I will.


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